New Year, new m- please stop.

thoughts

I have fallen victim to New Year resolutions for a numerous amount of years. At one point I think I believed it was a necessity. I have done the basic, everyone-has-done-it resolutions; get fit, get money, lose weight, get a fantastically well paying job, generally get my life together. Then there are the really cliche ones that I definitely repinned in the past; learn to breathe more, travel the world with your best friend, sleep 8+hours, drink the same amount of water as an orca whale daily. Before you send hate notes on beautifully hammered pearlescent paper and packaged in brown kraft wrapping with a velvet bow, I love Pinterest but sometimes the ideal life isn’t the life for all of us.

This year I want to stop bitching. I wasn’t a bitchy person but due to unemployment and general lack lustre life I have become very bitter. I think this corresponds with the people I surround myself with but the blame also lies with me. I have a friend, she is wonderfully hard working, welcoming, hilarious, and witty but she could knock you for ten with her words. She told me a story of a mutual friend and a horrible ordeal that person is going through. I muttered that I could see something like that happening to her while my friend said “really? Oh God, I think it is awful sad.” When I heard my friend who is so black and white to feel so compassionately towards this situation makes me look even more like such an ignorant and scathing person. At this moment I saw myself for what I was projecting – hate and bitchiness. This is not me and I put it down to being angry at the world. My other New Year resolution is to lose weight and get fit but that’s a give in.

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